Happy Monday everyone! I do not get asked this very often, not nearly as often as I get asked about how I could manage being in an LDR for so long, but I thought I would talk about how things have changed since my partner and I have been physically together. So last week in my first blogs, I spoke a lot about what it was like being in an LDR, and briefly touched on how now everything is better. But what do I mean by better? In today’s posting I will be talking about exactly what I mean by “better”, how exactly have things changed for me personally, and for us as a couple.
Firstly, we see each other every day because we have lived here since my partner got to Canada, and, that is actually an immigration requirement because I sponsored him. So the biggest change is that we no longer need to worry about making time to go Skype to see each other, or buy credits to talk to one another. Much less stressful than having internet connection issues, and get frustrated because we cannot see each other, or talk to each other. Now, no day goes by without us seeing each other, and talking. When my partner first got here though, it was weird. It felt like a dream, I woke up scared a few times wondering who was touching me, and actually had difficulties falling asleep with my laptop. So did my partner. We needed the light from the TV to fall asleep. When my partner would wake up during the night, I would wake up thinking someone broke into our apartment. Also, coming home and having a freshly cooked meal was also strange for me. After moving into my own place I would get home around 11 at night, and still have to make something to eat, if I had not eaten at work. We were finally able to live everything we had wanted to for nearly 5 years. It was truly amazing! Now, we are used to it, but still feels a little surreal when we remember how our relationship started. Our communication has pretty much remained the same though. We still talk about everything and anything with one another, and know we will not be shamed, judged or dismissed right away. I know we will have a conversation, and attempt to come a compromise about whatever it is. We still have an amazing relationship, and I think the most amazing thing, is that now when I have a bad day at work, or something happened, or I just feel bad, I have the most amazing partner to come home to and be held by, or to take care of me. Also when I get sick, I have someone take care of everything including me, which I used to hate, but now, I love.
I would say personally a lot has changed as well. One of the major things that has changed was my mental health and my panic attacks. My panic attacks have significantly decreased from literally at least once a week, to maybe a very small panic attack once every 2 months. My seasonal depression is not nearly as bad as it was either. The reason for that is simple, I am now with my partner who wakes me up every day with lots of kisses, a big wonderful smile, being held tightly, and unlimited support and understanding. Having this very wonderful, and amazing start to everyday, really makes me feel like I can take on the world. I still HATE the winter with a passion, but, I can deal with it a bit more than I used to be able to, and it does not affect my motivation, or what I need to do. It required much more effort prior to being together. Another reason is that I do not feel so overwhelmed anymore. I do not have to financially support myself anymore because we now have 2 incomes, I do not always have to cook and clean because my partner is here to help out. I am a neat freak everything needs to be clean all the time, so it was stressful having to clean every day on my own.
Now finding time for each other can often be difficult due to our work schedules, or life in general. Now I have most weekends off, but my partner only has one day off on the weekend, and the other during the week. Usually on the weekend we have other plans, and I work Monday to Friday. Finding time for just the 2 of us can be challenging for that reason, but we make sure to find time to just watch a movie and cuddle, at least once a week. And of course last but not least, no need for sexy time over the computer anymore. Our sex life has of course improved now that we are able to be physically together. Basically to sum it, things are not perfect, because nothing ever is, but I am more than happy with my life the way it is now in terms of my relationship, and the factors I am not happy about, cannot be changed at this moment. I would not change anything about my relationship or my partner.